Merry Stinkin' Christmas from the Ruff Circus!!!

Today was the big Christmas Light Parade in our little town. *enter MADNESS*

As a therapy for my new form of insanity, I am blogging about my experience. 

 Please allow me my therapy to keep me from going elbow deep into a bag of

 Hershey's kisses or finding my way to a warm bath with an entire bottle of wine!!! 

Kevin asked me take a quick trip to Woodward with him this afternoon, so I did what I desired.....I went with him.  I got home just after the circus departed their bus.  Wildness was already in full swing.  We remembered there was a Christmas program practice at the church.  Ahhhh....  I had a couple of seconds to myself before they came home.  WRONG!!!  Phone ringing....text messages going off....in a hurry to find the perfect 'knock off' of the American Girl Doll for Santa to bring Carli for Christmas.  The Mam-ma is on the phone in the store....the Mommy is online seeing if we can get it cheaper online....  People....Maybe we should have just bit the bullet and bought the silly $100 doll.  WOW!  Mam-ma and Mommy are tired already.  This girl better carry this doll with her until she is at LEAST 18. 

Enters the circus.....  Mommy....Kylan isn't being nice.....Carli hurt my feelings.....AAAAHHHHHH!!!  Mommy is thinking of running away!  Phone rings.....Caryn...Where are you?  We need to be practicing some Christmas carols for after the parade tonight.  Remember...the Praise Team is leading the Christmas carols in the park???  WOW!  KIDS!!  GET YOUR SHOES ON....PUT ON SOME GLOVES AND A COAT....  Run out the door....Oh crapola!! Daddy took the van.  We get to load up in the 'Grandma Car' to head down there.  Don't mind the chainsaw in the backseat kids!  *I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.*  Mommy....this door is so heavy I can't get it opened.  Kameron....move all that junk that Daddy has in the floorboard so you don't kick trash out in the park!!!  AAAAHHHHH!!!  Here we come in the RED BEAST....shiny and pretty on one side.....faded and DEAD on the other.  Here we come....a red streak buzzy down mainstreet. Kids bundled up and hugging the chainsaw!!!!  *still wondering why we are carting a chainsaw in the backseat of the Grandma car* 

Sound check in the park!  Oh wait....we don't have a single bit of music to practice.  Oh heck....let's just sing a praise song for the sound check!  We'll be just fine to show up and sing!!!  We're rock stars.....right???  OMG!!!  Are you serious???  Ok...well....we'll give it a shot.  :-) 

Heading home...Mommy freaking out because kids want to ride a float.  AAAHHHH....  Call the Daddy!  Help me!!!  When will you be home???  I have to get some warmer clothes on and we have 2 little kids that can't stand the thought of a parade that they aren't IN.  Daddy says....I'll be home very soon!!! 

Kylan is missing....the Baptist church is leaving with the float.....Carli is crying...she wants to ride???  I'm chasing the float....  Is Kylan on the float???  Driver....Ummm....I have no idea???  What???  Somebody from the float says....Kylan is on here.  Well....can you take Carli too???  Yes people....we are trash enough to just dump our kids on a random float.  By kids....see you in the park....if you want to go home with a stranger....do so....we'll find you later????  Really???  I always planned on being such a great parent!!! 

Fast forward....in the park....Praise team standing on the stage.... Microphones on....Music on stands....What songs are we singing???  There are about 12 on here....  Aaron says....Hmmm.....I don't know if I know any of these.  *I'm seriously dying at this point*  We try a song...not so good....next song...not so good....we are failing fast here people....one more song.....people are leaving....*I'm leaning on the fact that it was TOO COLD to stand out there singing.....but....I'm thinking we were really really bad....I could hear it*  What can you do???? STOP FOR THE NIGHT BEFORE YOU GET ANY WORSE!!!

In the car on the way home....  Daddy announces....I told the kids that this was the perfect night for hot chocolate and cinnamon toast for supper!!!  I promised!!!  THE DADDY....HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND???  DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SUGAR THAT IS???  DO YOU PLAN ON THEM SLEEPING TONIGHT???  But...I promised!!!  Guess what they ate for supper???  Yup.  Daddy won!!!  Jan Jan shows up with the most wonderful strawberry cupcakes known to man....and brownies...and cornbread muffins.  Guess what we had for dessert????  Yup...more sugar!!!

It is now almost 9pm.  We have 2 little people sound asleep in a sugar coma on the couch.  It all worked out!! Can you believe it???  My heart is just now calming down.  I think I need to go to bed soon!! I don't want to live this for one more second!!!  I need my Kindle and my electric blanket....  I might even suck my thumb and cry!!! 

 

{Life Really IS a Circus}

Carli is getting undressed for her bath

and says (to a very unsuspecting Mommy).....

"Mommy, Kylan got dirt on my boobies!" 

People....I can't make this stuff up!!! 

(I really tried to keep a straight face and brace myself from falling

into the tub I was filling for her.)

Let me first explain what 'boobies' are at this circus......

A couple of years ago, Carli started calling bras...boobies...

She, then, wished for her very own 'boobies' for Christmas.

Jan Jan, being the awesome Grandma that she is,

made sure she had her OWN 'boobies' for Christmas.

Yesterday, Carli decided that she was going to be JUST LIKE MOMMY.

We used the same Bath and Body Works soap (Strawberry Lemonade)...

she wore 'make-up' AND 'boobies.' 

This is a picture of 'boobies' much like Carli's 'boobies.'



picture courtesy of JCP.com



(By the way....is there a maximum amount of times you can use the word 'boobies' in a blog post?
I think I might have gone over the allowed amount!)

Soooo.....apparently....

Kylan somehow got dirt on Carli's 'boobies'

while they were playing outside last night! 

I don't really know if I need to know the full story.....

Some things are better left to the imagination......



Photo by CAT Photography
I love being her Mommy!



I think for today....

I'm going to choose to be the happiest ME and enjoy the little things a little bit more!

What do you have planned for today????



Spring Break...is NOT for wimps!

Kevin and I had one of those 'Bright Ideas' and decided to take our 3 ring circus to Wichita, KS for the weekend. Oh my goodness..... Somebody should really save us from ourselves occasionally.

Kevin closed his office on Thursday afternoon and Friday in order for us to stay a nice long time on our mini vacation. We left out of town on Thursday at 1:00. Everybody was hungry and we agreed a quick stop through Loves in Buffalo would be a FANTASTIC start to our trip! Whining kids aparently dying from hunger in the back of the van made the trip a bit long, but there was an end in sight. So we thought.... We made our way into Loves and ambushed the very unexpectant workers with our circus! "I don't like sandwiches....I only want candy." "I'm 10 now...can't I have a foot long?" "I want every kind of added syrup in my coke." "I think I need to poop." Ugh... Every good Mommy knows that going into such a place requires a P.L.A.N. Do you think I had one??? Nope....Not a chance...I was on vacation. $38 later, we had FOOD and we were on the road.

The rest of the car ride went well. The kids acted like they were being raised by the amazing parents in the front seats. We made our way into Wichita with Orange Leaf frozen yogurt in the GPS. We made our way into the the precious store. Once again...ambushing unsuspecting workers. You know what.....Our kids were angels. We were all decked out in our St. Patricks day green because the MOMMA had a plan. You see....I had seen on the website for Orange Leaf that they would be giving 25% discouts to people wearing GREEN! We looked like a little leprechan family walking into that place. We all filled our cute paper bowls with yummy goodness and made our way to the register. I told the lady....Look we wore our green...don't forget our discount. She looked at me like I had stepped off Mars and said....Oh...sorry...that is only going on in the store on the EAST side of town. What??? Seriously??? We were staying on the EAST side, but intentionally went to the one on the WEST side because we would get there quicker. Ugh. Sad day.... It didn't ruin a thing. We all 5 had a wonderful time eating our frozen yogurt and listening to our favorite contemporary Christian music that was piped into the store. Ahhhh..... It was going to be a great weekend....

We did a little shopping at Mommy's Heaven on earth....TARGET! Carli was irritated the WHOLE time. She stated repeatedly....I HATE TO SHOP FOR EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR SHOES AND JEWLERY. Where did she get that??? Should I take the blame???

Friday was the BIG day. We went to the Exploration Place. You see....we thought we were so smart. We went to KS the week before they got out of school for spring break. Well...we aren't as s.m.a.r.t. as we thought we were. You see....they got out on FRIDAY! Yup...we shared the whole place with a bunch of bratty O.P.K. If you don't remember what that stands for, it is Other People's Kids. ;-) I did the good Mommy thing and put my kids in matching t-shirts so we could find them. They said...Don't Be Mean...across the front. Guess what....those bratty OPK didn't give them a turn on the different exhibits and acted like total jerks to them. I was ready to turn the shirts wrong side out and give my kids a lesson in BULLY. Grrr...

Our sweet boys in their Don't Be Mean shirts!

Yikes!  It's Wormetta Roundbottom!  She appeared at the end of the day!



She's baaaccckkk!  Nice to see you Miss Carli!


We hit all of Kevin's favorite types of eateries....in case you don't know what these are....they are breweries. He loves to try new beers so he drags the family to all of these that he can find. My Daddy used to take the family to every truck stop he knew of....my husband...breweries. In his defense, the food is always fabulous and they make some really yummy iced tea for the rest of us. :-)


Saturday marked the day to visit the 3D IMAX movie theater. The kids wondered why we shared one bucket of popcorn and 2 large cokes. The $63 price tag to get is IN the movie theater was the reason for that. :-) The movie was awesome and we will all remember seeing Mars Needs Moms in that theater. We made some lasting memories.

Sunday...finally...we get to go home. A trip to Sams Club with 3 kids made Kevin and I long for the comforts of home. Oh my goodness...there is alot to pitch a fit about in that store. Just ask our kids...they will tell you.

Now...we are almost 2 weeks past the trip and I am remembering some things a little bit more fondly than I was when we got home. It was a wild ride and I do NOT want to to it again anytime soon, but we made some great memories. I'm thinking we made some really great memories for some of the retail workers and other shoppers too. :-) I think we provided a lot of good entertainment. I have to admit....there were times that I felt like I was melting down with them and probably made a scene or two of my own. :-)

I have a great little family and I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't the Ringmaster of this circus. Life is good....it really is good....