Merry Stinkin' Christmas from the Ruff Circus!!!

Today was the big Christmas Light Parade in our little town. *enter MADNESS*

As a therapy for my new form of insanity, I am blogging about my experience. 

 Please allow me my therapy to keep me from going elbow deep into a bag of

 Hershey's kisses or finding my way to a warm bath with an entire bottle of wine!!! 

Kevin asked me take a quick trip to Woodward with him this afternoon, so I did what I desired.....I went with him.  I got home just after the circus departed their bus.  Wildness was already in full swing.  We remembered there was a Christmas program practice at the church.  Ahhhh....  I had a couple of seconds to myself before they came home.  WRONG!!!  Phone ringing....text messages going off....in a hurry to find the perfect 'knock off' of the American Girl Doll for Santa to bring Carli for Christmas.  The Mam-ma is on the phone in the store....the Mommy is online seeing if we can get it cheaper online....  People....Maybe we should have just bit the bullet and bought the silly $100 doll.  WOW!  Mam-ma and Mommy are tired already.  This girl better carry this doll with her until she is at LEAST 18. 

Enters the circus.....  Mommy....Kylan isn't being nice.....Carli hurt my feelings.....AAAAHHHHHH!!!  Mommy is thinking of running away!  Phone rings.....Caryn...Where are you?  We need to be practicing some Christmas carols for after the parade tonight.  Remember...the Praise Team is leading the Christmas carols in the park???  WOW!  KIDS!!  GET YOUR SHOES ON....PUT ON SOME GLOVES AND A COAT....  Run out the door....Oh crapola!! Daddy took the van.  We get to load up in the 'Grandma Car' to head down there.  Don't mind the chainsaw in the backseat kids!  *I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.*  Mommy....this door is so heavy I can't get it opened.  Kameron....move all that junk that Daddy has in the floorboard so you don't kick trash out in the park!!!  AAAAHHHHH!!!  Here we come in the RED BEAST....shiny and pretty on one side.....faded and DEAD on the other.  Here we come....a red streak buzzy down mainstreet. Kids bundled up and hugging the chainsaw!!!!  *still wondering why we are carting a chainsaw in the backseat of the Grandma car* 

Sound check in the park!  Oh wait....we don't have a single bit of music to practice.  Oh heck....let's just sing a praise song for the sound check!  We'll be just fine to show up and sing!!!  We're rock stars.....right???  OMG!!!  Are you serious???  Ok...well....we'll give it a shot.  :-) 

Heading home...Mommy freaking out because kids want to ride a float.  AAAHHHH....  Call the Daddy!  Help me!!!  When will you be home???  I have to get some warmer clothes on and we have 2 little kids that can't stand the thought of a parade that they aren't IN.  Daddy says....I'll be home very soon!!! 

Kylan is missing....the Baptist church is leaving with the float.....Carli is crying...she wants to ride???  I'm chasing the float....  Is Kylan on the float???  Driver....Ummm....I have no idea???  What???  Somebody from the float says....Kylan is on here.  Well....can you take Carli too???  Yes people....we are trash enough to just dump our kids on a random float.  By kids....see you in the park....if you want to go home with a stranger....do so....we'll find you later????  Really???  I always planned on being such a great parent!!! 

Fast forward....in the park....Praise team standing on the stage.... Microphones on....Music on stands....What songs are we singing???  There are about 12 on here....  Aaron says....Hmmm.....I don't know if I know any of these.  *I'm seriously dying at this point*  We try a song...not so good....next song...not so good....we are failing fast here people....one more song.....people are leaving....*I'm leaning on the fact that it was TOO COLD to stand out there singing.....but....I'm thinking we were really really bad....I could hear it*  What can you do???? STOP FOR THE NIGHT BEFORE YOU GET ANY WORSE!!!

In the car on the way home....  Daddy announces....I told the kids that this was the perfect night for hot chocolate and cinnamon toast for supper!!!  I promised!!!  THE DADDY....HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND???  DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SUGAR THAT IS???  DO YOU PLAN ON THEM SLEEPING TONIGHT???  But...I promised!!!  Guess what they ate for supper???  Yup.  Daddy won!!!  Jan Jan shows up with the most wonderful strawberry cupcakes known to man....and brownies...and cornbread muffins.  Guess what we had for dessert????  Yup...more sugar!!!

It is now almost 9pm.  We have 2 little people sound asleep in a sugar coma on the couch.  It all worked out!! Can you believe it???  My heart is just now calming down.  I think I need to go to bed soon!! I don't want to live this for one more second!!!  I need my Kindle and my electric blanket....  I might even suck my thumb and cry!!! 

 

{Life Really IS a Circus}

Carli is getting undressed for her bath

and says (to a very unsuspecting Mommy).....

"Mommy, Kylan got dirt on my boobies!" 

People....I can't make this stuff up!!! 

(I really tried to keep a straight face and brace myself from falling

into the tub I was filling for her.)

Let me first explain what 'boobies' are at this circus......

A couple of years ago, Carli started calling bras...boobies...

She, then, wished for her very own 'boobies' for Christmas.

Jan Jan, being the awesome Grandma that she is,

made sure she had her OWN 'boobies' for Christmas.

Yesterday, Carli decided that she was going to be JUST LIKE MOMMY.

We used the same Bath and Body Works soap (Strawberry Lemonade)...

she wore 'make-up' AND 'boobies.' 

This is a picture of 'boobies' much like Carli's 'boobies.'



picture courtesy of JCP.com



(By the way....is there a maximum amount of times you can use the word 'boobies' in a blog post?
I think I might have gone over the allowed amount!)

Soooo.....apparently....

Kylan somehow got dirt on Carli's 'boobies'

while they were playing outside last night! 

I don't really know if I need to know the full story.....

Some things are better left to the imagination......



Photo by CAT Photography
I love being her Mommy!



I think for today....

I'm going to choose to be the happiest ME and enjoy the little things a little bit more!

What do you have planned for today????



Spring Break...is NOT for wimps!

Kevin and I had one of those 'Bright Ideas' and decided to take our 3 ring circus to Wichita, KS for the weekend. Oh my goodness..... Somebody should really save us from ourselves occasionally.

Kevin closed his office on Thursday afternoon and Friday in order for us to stay a nice long time on our mini vacation. We left out of town on Thursday at 1:00. Everybody was hungry and we agreed a quick stop through Loves in Buffalo would be a FANTASTIC start to our trip! Whining kids aparently dying from hunger in the back of the van made the trip a bit long, but there was an end in sight. So we thought.... We made our way into Loves and ambushed the very unexpectant workers with our circus! "I don't like sandwiches....I only want candy." "I'm 10 now...can't I have a foot long?" "I want every kind of added syrup in my coke." "I think I need to poop." Ugh... Every good Mommy knows that going into such a place requires a P.L.A.N. Do you think I had one??? Nope....Not a chance...I was on vacation. $38 later, we had FOOD and we were on the road.

The rest of the car ride went well. The kids acted like they were being raised by the amazing parents in the front seats. We made our way into Wichita with Orange Leaf frozen yogurt in the GPS. We made our way into the the precious store. Once again...ambushing unsuspecting workers. You know what.....Our kids were angels. We were all decked out in our St. Patricks day green because the MOMMA had a plan. You see....I had seen on the website for Orange Leaf that they would be giving 25% discouts to people wearing GREEN! We looked like a little leprechan family walking into that place. We all filled our cute paper bowls with yummy goodness and made our way to the register. I told the lady....Look we wore our green...don't forget our discount. She looked at me like I had stepped off Mars and said....Oh...sorry...that is only going on in the store on the EAST side of town. What??? Seriously??? We were staying on the EAST side, but intentionally went to the one on the WEST side because we would get there quicker. Ugh. Sad day.... It didn't ruin a thing. We all 5 had a wonderful time eating our frozen yogurt and listening to our favorite contemporary Christian music that was piped into the store. Ahhhh..... It was going to be a great weekend....

We did a little shopping at Mommy's Heaven on earth....TARGET! Carli was irritated the WHOLE time. She stated repeatedly....I HATE TO SHOP FOR EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR SHOES AND JEWLERY. Where did she get that??? Should I take the blame???

Friday was the BIG day. We went to the Exploration Place. You see....we thought we were so smart. We went to KS the week before they got out of school for spring break. Well...we aren't as s.m.a.r.t. as we thought we were. You see....they got out on FRIDAY! Yup...we shared the whole place with a bunch of bratty O.P.K. If you don't remember what that stands for, it is Other People's Kids. ;-) I did the good Mommy thing and put my kids in matching t-shirts so we could find them. They said...Don't Be Mean...across the front. Guess what....those bratty OPK didn't give them a turn on the different exhibits and acted like total jerks to them. I was ready to turn the shirts wrong side out and give my kids a lesson in BULLY. Grrr...

Our sweet boys in their Don't Be Mean shirts!

Yikes!  It's Wormetta Roundbottom!  She appeared at the end of the day!



She's baaaccckkk!  Nice to see you Miss Carli!


We hit all of Kevin's favorite types of eateries....in case you don't know what these are....they are breweries. He loves to try new beers so he drags the family to all of these that he can find. My Daddy used to take the family to every truck stop he knew of....my husband...breweries. In his defense, the food is always fabulous and they make some really yummy iced tea for the rest of us. :-)


Saturday marked the day to visit the 3D IMAX movie theater. The kids wondered why we shared one bucket of popcorn and 2 large cokes. The $63 price tag to get is IN the movie theater was the reason for that. :-) The movie was awesome and we will all remember seeing Mars Needs Moms in that theater. We made some lasting memories.

Sunday...finally...we get to go home. A trip to Sams Club with 3 kids made Kevin and I long for the comforts of home. Oh my goodness...there is alot to pitch a fit about in that store. Just ask our kids...they will tell you.

Now...we are almost 2 weeks past the trip and I am remembering some things a little bit more fondly than I was when we got home. It was a wild ride and I do NOT want to to it again anytime soon, but we made some great memories. I'm thinking we made some really great memories for some of the retail workers and other shoppers too. :-) I think we provided a lot of good entertainment. I have to admit....there were times that I felt like I was melting down with them and probably made a scene or two of my own. :-)

I have a great little family and I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't the Ringmaster of this circus. Life is good....it really is good....

Tax Free??? Seriously????

I would have loved to update my Facebook status to tell you all about my weekend, but it simply wasn't possible. I have too much to tell say!!

My dear wonderful friend Wendi listened to me when I told her all about the "Sketch to Screen" exhibit at the OKC Art Museum. She got me a family membership to the museum for my birthday. How awesome is that??? The exhibit is set to leave on August 15th, so Kevin and I knew we had to get there very quickly before we missed it. We made our plans, got Jan Jan to babysit and headed off to OKC on Friday night. I have to mention....we had plans to get get school supplies for 3 kids while we were there. (This is a key point later in the story.) Friday night was awesome. I read my book while Kevin drove and listened to his iPod. It was so relaxing being able to do what we wanted without any kids yelling the background. We had a nice dinner and at On the Border and had a beautiful hotel room for the night. We got up Saturday morning and started our day with a trip to the museum....

I am not your normal person who loves fashion of all types. I love to touch the fabrics, feel them on my face, in my hand, smell them and taste them if I need to. We walk into the first room and I see 2 gowns worn in some Hollywood movie in the 20's. Please note....I'm not a HUGE Hollywood fan. I enjoy watching movies and think that the actors and actresses have great talent.....but.....I LOVE FASHION!!! When I saw those two hand made dresses I gasped. Yes...I really did. I really thought I was going to cry. The velvet ropes and the security guard made it impossible for me to fully EXPERIENCE these 2 works of art. I kept fiddling with my hands wanting to touch them so badly. Judging simply on the age of the garments....I think the tasting part was out of the question. Do you know they have doorbells on those items that go off if you get too close??? Craziest thing I've ever seen!!! Anyway....I saw the dress that was worn by some lady that played Cleopatra too! It was incredible. The artistry is amazing!! It truly is! There were outfits from all sorts of movies, but my favorites were the ones that were the most elaborate. Kevin thought the Wolverine and Skeletor outfits were awesome, but I couldn't care less. I wanted to touch them!!! Everywhere I turned....another security guard and a whole group of uppity old ladies that wouldn't let me get close enough. I'm pretty sure everyone in that place thought I was NUTS and I was beginning to wonder myself! Is it normal to be this excited by fabrics and embellishments??? These designers are incredible. 3 dresses worn in Gone With The Wind and 2 from Titanic rank on my favorites list. The work is so amazing! The dress that the designer didn't have the funds to make and had Liza Minnelli bring her own white sequined Halston gown in and it was remade into an incredible work of art. What movie??? Not a clue.... Seriously.... I couldn't remember the movie if my life depended on it, but I can tell you all about the accordion folded chiffon in hot pink and red that cascaded in a long beautiful train. Wow!!! Anyway.... I'm just sharing this little bit of information with you so you know..... I have lived a lot of years out of the fashion world and I love the life I live, however.....you can't take the love of fabrics and embellishments out of a girl. I will forever have a special place in my heart for fashion. I think I'm all ate up with it..... I really do!!! I loved the rest of the museum as well. Kevin spent a lot of time sitting in front of the TV watching "The Way Things Move" while I experienced the room of an artist that was all excited about boobies....yup...you read that right!!! He was very talented, but he really had an obsession with boobies. He even drew skeletons with boobies!!! Apparently, they were all in a very cold environment too!!! (if you catch my drift) My goodness!!! I was glad I didn't have my precious little boys in there with me. :-) If you haven't been to the OKC MOA you should take the trip, if for no other reason....to see the glass art by Chihuly! Wow! I could have spent days in there! He is simply incredible!!!

Ok....so enough about our museum trip....it was awesome...relaxing (except for the heart palpitations that I felt in the fashion rooms)......and we had a wonderful time.

Now...my dear friends....it was time to shop for school supplies for 3 kids!!! Kevin and started this leg of the trip with a very bad idea. Why don't we drive to the Quail Springs area and do our shopping there??? They have every store we could ever want and more!?!? We should have said....Why don't we go hang out in Iraq with the soldiers!!! OMG!! We went into the whole day with a laid back attitude and we were almost eaten by mothers of small children that she brought with her on the hunt. All kidding aside....I thought we might die! We went to Target and found isles full of empty school supply displays. Finally....we had to go get some lunch and Kevin drank 3 beers to get his courage up for the rest of the hunt. We were ready for a change!!! We headed to NW Expressway and found everything we needed in a much more laid back....Switzerland...environment. Praise the Lord!! We lived through it!!! After being home for a day and having some time the think, I have come to the conclusion that anybody who shops during the Tax Free Weekend is NUTS!!!! It wasn't our intention, it just happened to turn out that way. We were worried that there would be very large crowds and our concerns were valid!!! No more tax free for us......The Ruff Circus will pay the tax and be happy we did!!!! We will get out of stores with our lives and our limbs and the rest of those people can fight amongst themeselves.....nope....not us!!! Not this circus!!!

I am happy to announce....all 3 Ruff children were happy and healthy when we returned. I'm not sure they would have survived the trip.....if some other mother didn't eat them....I might have!!! After witnessing the things I witnessed this weekend.....I am vowing that I will do every possible thing to avoid taking my kids to pick out their own school supplies. Our kids were THRILLED with the things we brought home....ya know why???? Because they didn't know there were any other options!!! :-) Life is good today....really really good today!!!!

Chuck and Wilbur Ride Again!!!

We spent the entire month of June running to baseball and t-ball games. Kylan and Cade haven't had much of a chance to play in a month. Today, Kevin took Carli to work with him, Kameron was hanging out at Jan Jan's house and Kylan was left at home alone with Momma. I thought it was the perfect day to have Cade come and play. Sounded good at the time....

As soon as Cade arrived, he showed me his brand new tennis shoes. (This little bit of info will come in handy very soon.) It was a beautiful morning and they headed outside to get the bikes and ride. (insert happy little tune as background music here) They were so happy to be together. It was truly beautiful watching them ride down the road together. It seemed like it was going to be the perfect day for me to get some much needed work done. They did really well until the afternoon....then...something happened. (insert scary music here) I'm not sure if an alien spaceship landed and took those 2 sweet little boys or if they just made a decision to bring out CHUCK AND WILBUR, but it happened in a BIG way!

The very first thing was the phone call from a downtown business....Caryn...do you know that Kylan and Cade are at the post office???? WWWWWHHHHAAAATTTTT??? Then she says...oh..wait...they are riding toward home now. I went outside and caught them. I told them to follow the rules and NOT go out of the area they are allowed to ride. They both looked at me like I was nuts and said "ok." (that was a kind of a dorky sounding...ok...by the way.)

Off they went....Cole shows up to the church with his Daddy. They all 3 hang around outside throwing sidewalk poppers out of the back of his pickup. I found out later that Cede' and a friend were walking by that truck and Wilbur dropped his pants and shook his boy parts at them. (wiggle...wiggle) OMG!!! Is this kid being raised by wolves??? What sort of behavior is this??? I'm much too refined to be raising a kid that acts like this!!!

A friend shows up at my house and says...Caryn...is the lid to the deep freeze supposed to be open??? I said...No...those darned boys left it up when they got popsicles out. I yell outside to Chuck and Wilbur...shut the lid on the deep freeze....they yell back....we can't...I say...what do you mean you can't???....They say...there's a toad in there!!! WWWWHAAAATTTT???? Seriously??? I go out and look inside. I said... are you serious? There is a toad in here? They say...yup... I said... Where is it??? Wilbur says...don't know...can't find it. Grrrr.... (I must add...I don't like to touch toads and squish them to pick them up.) I start moving boxes out of the way and there he is. A toad as big as my hand sitting on the bottom on some ice. Seriously!!!! I would swear I saw him shivering! Poor little guy. I used a bubble wand that was shaped much like a spatula to get him out. I wanted to flip him like a pancake, but I opted to sit him on the garage floor. The poor little guy had ice on his feet. Somebody asked me later...Do you think he pooped in there??? My answer....heck no...his little hiney had to be frozen shut!!! He sat for a long time, but finally found a new home over behind the shovels in a very dark corner of the garage. I think he is hiding from the 'toad bullies.' Chuck and Wilbur said they just wanted to put him in there!!! Mommy said....I need a strong drink and a cigarette!!!

I go back in the house....my cell phone rings....It's the fireworks stand at the Methodist Church. Cade and Kylan were over here. We told them to go home. They left, but we don't think they went home. Seriously??? (I know I keep saying that...but it was just what I was thinking??) I found them riding in their normal riding area. I told them...stay away from the fireworks stand. Once again I get that dorky...OK. Off they go....

Now you might be wondering why I didn't take their wheels away at some point. Believe me...it crossed my mind, but I thought better of it. My thinking was...Chuck and Wilbur are out in full force again...do I really want them INSIDE??? NNNNNOOOOOOO....... I just let them terrorize the neighborhood.

Wilbur comes in the house. We want to go play at T.J. and Beth's house. I tell them...NO...it is too far. Wilbur argues....they can't come here, so we want to go there...I tell him...NOOOO....He says....OK..(dorky again)....he walks outside...he and Chuck mount up on their bikes and they start heading for T.J.'s house. I step outside and yell for them to come back. They had these confused looks on their faces. Not kidding.... I said...I told you not to go down there....it is too far....they said...no it's not...we want to go....NOOOOOO....I felt like I was talking to a brick wall. Finally, I got them to understand that I meant business.

Chuck's Momma had told him....DO NOT PLAY IN THE MUD IN YOUR NEW TENNIS SHOES!!!

Kevin comes home from work. Caryn...Do you know the boys have thrown mud all over the outside of the house??? WWWWHHHHAAAAATTTT??? CHUCK AND WILBUR!!!!! What are you two thinking????.....We don't know....Weren't you told to stay out of the mud??? Yes...(in that dorky tone).....then why did you make mud and throw it all over my house??? ....we don't know (dorky again)....They were covered in mud. I turned on the cold water hose and made them wash their faces. I sat them in time out on the driveway. I kinda thought about running away while they were sitting there, but I opted to wash the mud off the white siding on my house!!! Making them do it would have been way too much fun for them... Boys with water hoses.... Speaking of....I forgot that the very first thing they did this morning was unhook my sprinkler and spray my new swing cushions with water. I should have known right then, that some thing was going very wrong.

To wrap up the day, I spent about an hour picking up little 'popper' wrappers out of my yard and sweeping them off the sidewalk...cleaning the siding....asking questions about how things got broken, etc....wondering how 2 little boys can drink an entire box of Capri Sun in one day and eat most of a box of popsicles.

To end the night....they did it....they rode all the way to T.J and Beth's house. Kameron had to get on his bike and go retreve his brother. In the end, Chuck and Wilbur managed to get grounded from all things with wheels for a week. Was it worth it???? I don't know....you'll have to ask Chuck and Wilbur!!!

As for me....I'm drinking Iced Tea (wishing it was a margarita) and wondering if it is safe to go to bed. Wilbur finally went away and Kylan came back home. That sweet little boy is sound asleep on the couch. Praise the Lord this day is OVER!!!

Life was good today....but I sure hope it's better tomorrow!!!