Is he trying to kill me???

Wilbur Roundbottom had a great day at our house today! The Mommy had a 'no happy face' most of the day. I really tried to blame all the chaos on the wind, but I'm not so sure he isn't on a quest to KILL me. Seriously!

We had a MOM's group meeting today. This sweet little get together is a great time for we Moms to fellowship and a chance for the kids to play. Well....Wilbur and his buddy decided to sneak on over to the house (we were at the Baptist church across the street) and get out the bike and Jeep. When I came out, here is what I saw..... The bike and Jeep are parked across the street BEHIND 'Victor's House' and there are NO LITTLE BOYS around. There is a HUGE backhoe in the front yard of Victor's house and a HUGE hole. I begin yelling for the little monkeys and they don't appear. I keep yelling....and yelling.... Finally, another Momma says...."I think they are over there.(pointing).... Sure enough... they were at the neighbor's house banging on the door to see if their boys could come out to play! (Those boys are in school all day!!!! Wilbur knows this!!) I give them both a good talking to and send them off to get the Jeep and bike. Do they ride home and park them??? Oh NO....his buddy takes off in the Jeep across the empty lot and Wilbur takes off on his bike like a crazy man!!! I'm in my yard stomping around and yelling! No kidding....making a total redneck hillbilly fool of myself. All the while my hair is standing straight up on my head from the 800 mph winds that were blowing today! I even made it a point to wear make-up, iron a shirt and wear some new red flip flops today.....Was it worth it??? At this point....I'm thinking NOT!!! I got Kylan in the house changed his clothes and was taking him back to school. (Today was dress rehearsal for the spring program. Which is PROOF that God loves me and wants me to be happy!) Wilbur going back to school was a blessing!!! Believe me! We are getting in the car to leave and I say...."Where is the Jeep?" Wilbur says...."I don't know...." Mommy's Head spins around and I'm not sure I can control myself any longer. I stomp around the yard looking for the Jeep and find it on the OTHER SIDE of the church. Wilbur sneaks into the car and leaves ME to get the Jeep home! (I think he is scared at this point. But, obviously, not scared enough.) My options are: sit in the little plastic Jeep and try to drive it home or push it home. Well, I have very long legs and big feet....I'm not so sure the first option is really an option at all. (Can you imagine??? I'm not sure I couldn't sell tickets to watch that event!) So....I push that Jeep home in gale force winds. The steering wheel kept going the opposite way that I needed it to go.....I was mumbling and cursing....it wasn't fun....I promise.... I parked the Jeep in the garage and informed the car load of children (somewhere in there I added another buddy to the mix!)....I was HIDING the Jeep battery for one week!!!! I, also, added.........I'M MAD!!! (As if they hadn't figured that out.)

Things went well while Wilbur was at school.

The bus drops a load of kids in my yard.....including Wilbur! His buddy Chuck was waiting on him. You see....Chuck is the alter ego of Wilbur's buddy Cade. Cade had been at my house all day.....until WILBUR came home!!! There were 600 kids in my yard and roaming through my house. The last time I see those two boys, they are playing in the bedroom. A bunch of kids came in the house..... (skip a few minutes)..... Ring, Ring.... Hello?....Um, Caryn.....Do you know there are 2 little boys at my store?......WHAT????......DID YOU BEAT THEM???..... Yes, friends.... Wilbur and Chuck decided it would be a good idea to ride their bikes to A Pioneer Place.....Chuck was hungry! Just so you know.....they had to cross the busy HIGHWAY to get there! Lindy asked them.....Did you cross the highway to get here? (I know...obvious question...but give her a break....she was shocked).....they said....NO...we rode on the grass..... Now...Daddy enters the house....I tell him what they have done....he drives to the store....spanks Wilbur's bottom and brings him home....this left Chuck wide eyed and scared to meet up with HIS Daddy..... I, seriously, thought I had stroked completely out!!! (fast forward a couple of hours)

Wilbur and Carli are in the bathtub....Wilbur uses a slap bracelet to attempt an appendectomy on his sister. (that is the only reason I can think of that he would CUT her with a bracelet) His Daddy, once again, has to spank his bottom. He cries and throws a HUGE fit and pukes....yes friends....he pukes....Wilbur is a puker from WAY back. If he laughs too hard....he pukes....cries too hard....he pukes...coughs too hard...he pukes.... At this point....I think Daddy is about to stroke completely out! Bless his heart....glad it's him and not me this time!!! We are ready to end this day!!! Lord....please end this day quickly and painlessly....Amen....

The good news is.....Wilbur went to sleep rather easily sitting on the couch reading books with Daddy!!! The day was ended....the circus music is winding down....de de dedle dedle de de dum dum.... (much emphasis on the dum dum part)

In the middle of the whole mess....Jan Jan called and said....Do you need a break from a kid tomorrow?....why don't you bring somebody to me....I said....I really need a pedicure and a day alone....she said....I will take them BOTH...Praise the Lord for that sweet lady....she is saving my life!!! Life is good today.....